The world of Tzu Chi March-April 2022 (Vol.140)

TZU CHI 140 37 holding on to her daughter’s hand firmly lest she wandered around and disturbed the class. When Zoey, as expected, ran to the front of the stage, curiously touching and feeling different things, or lying down in the corridor, or ignoring the volunteers who approached her, Lian See felt embarrassed but the volunteers did not mind. Elsie even arranged for a volunteer to care for Zoey so that Lian See could focus in class. Elsie was grateful for the team and parents’ understanding, tolerating Zoey’s behaviour. She related, “Once, Zoey grabbed the emcee’s microphone, but the latter was able to deal with the situation calmly, as if it was just another ordinary thing. No one blamed the child.” It was a whole new world for Lian See. The harmonious atmosphere, the friendly smiles, and most importantly, no one treated Zoey as a child with special needs. The family felt very at ease and reassured. Lian See looked forward to the future sessions. She laughed and shared that despite not knowing what she had learnt, the atmosphere was pleasant. Hence, she encouraged herself, “Go and cry it out!” Here, Lian See found more space for thinking. She often asked Elsie, “What have I done wrong?” – to which Elsie replied, “If you want your child to be better, then you must be better first.” This made her very puzzled. She did not know what had gone wrong as she had worked hard to support her family and tried her best to care for her children. Elsie recalled that Lian See had a successful career as a financial planner. She had great achievements, but also a fierce temper as well. When they first met, there was no smile on her face. She complained a lot about her daughters, husband, colleagues and clients. Even after the first PCBC session, she complained and suggested that the volunteers should have done it differently or should have arranged the course in a certain way. In response to Lian See’s complaints, Elsie showed her that she cared and frequently talked about Tzu Chi’s Four-ingredient Spiritual Soup (contentment, gratitude, understanding, and accommodating) and ‘face cream’ (smile and treat others with kindness). Although back then, Lian See could not understand it, she was grateful that the volunteers were willing to listen to her. It was comfortable mingling with them. She shared, Chan Lian See always brings her daughter Zoey along to Tzu Chi activities. Here, they feel accepted, and are able to learn and grow comfortably. [Photo courtesy of Chan Lian See]