The world of Tzu Chi February 2021(Vol.131)

What does it mean to put yourself in other’s shoes? P ut yourself in other’s shoes is to think about others from their point of view and think about what the other person thinks. It is a thinking method in managing relationships that focuses on understanding. People need to understand each other, trust each other, and learn to consider other’s perspectives. The basis of human interaction is mutual tolerance, understanding and always consider the other person’s point of view. I once read the story, The Rain Has Become a Poem . It talks about bringing children outside to feel the breeze and rain through their eyes, ears, nose and mouth. Through the story, children realize that they need to put themselves in other people’s shoes when problems occur. Only through looking at the situation from a different perspective can we understand why others act the way they do and then solve the problem in a harmonious atmosphere. Lubricant is needed between parents and child One day after my maternity leave, a student’s mother suddenly contacted me and told me that her daughter had reacted strangely in an argument with her. Her daughter became very cranky and would often contradict her parents. As a mother, she was at her wit’s end because she and her daughter would start arguing within two minutes of communication. Therefore, she sought my help, hoping that I could mediate their relationship. When I arrived at school, I chatted with the students as usual, hoping to identify the reasons they argued with their parents. As adolescents, they generally felt that their parents nagged them no matter what they did, and this annoyed them. They even felt that their parents did not love or care about them. After that, I had a conversation with this girl. She told me that her mother would nag her every day and she would be blamed for the slightest thing she did wrong. Yet, in some situations, this girl did not think that she had done anything wrong, but her mother refused to listen to her explanation. The arguments between them became more and more heated, and eventually, they parted in anger. As time went by, bad thoughts grew; she lacked a sense of belonging towards her family and would even say hurtful words to her mother or ask that she returned to work so that she could do as she pleased. I invited the girl’s parents to meet me in school to speak about some issues the child By Lim Shin Rou (Primary school teacher) Translated by Ng Yu Xin olistic Education Learn to Put Yourself in Other’s Shoes Children don’t need preachy parents or teachers; they need elders who can understand their thoughts. 2021 • 02 58