The world of Tzu Chi May 2020 (Vol.122)

Last but not least, how do we cultivate self-compassion, a practice that is often taught together with mindfulness? 2 3 4 5 1 Understand the science behind self-compassion. Lizabeth Roemer, a professor in psychology at the University of Massachusetts Boston, discovered that individuals with low levels of self-compassion had relatively more severe symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder. Constant self-criticism, often characterized by thoughts of I’m a failure; I feel everyone is laughing at me; I hate myself, is a sign of low self-compassion. Contemplate the Buddha’s teachings. Compassion is unconditional, boundless and universal. We are as deserving of compassion as other people in our lives. Self-compassion does not equate to selfishness. Self-compassion manifests when we take care of ourselves with the interest of others in mind. For instance, wearing a face mask is not a selfish act; we protect both ourselves and others when we wear it. Be aware that we are not alone in facing problems. This awareness helps to alleviate feelings of shame and guilt, making space for self-compassion. Otherwise, shame and guilt drive us to punish ourselves and deny self-compassion. Below are several tips to develop self-compassion by clinical psychologist and founder of Anxiety Solutions CBT, Renee Mill: • Be aware of negative self-talk and be ready to dismiss them gently. • Reframe your harsh judgments of a situation with a compassionate view. • Ask yourself what you would tell a friend in the same situation. • Listen to and learn from others who are self-compassionate. • Ask a wise friend how you could see a situation differently. • Practise meditation. When you meditate, focus on yourself in a positive and kind way, e.g., remember your strengths and positive values. • Cultivate mindful awareness. Try to observe your thoughts with a kind and gentle curiosity without making any judgments. Marching Forward Hand in Hand