The world of Tzu Chi April 2020 (Vol.121)

43 TZU CHI 121 E very parent hopes to spend their golden years in the company of their children and grandchildren. However, the prospect of basking in the bliss of a harmonious family life seemed a distant dream for 70-year-old Tholasiamah a/p Sarady. When Tholasiamah was younger, she suffered domestic abuse at the hands of her husband, who subsequently abandoned the family for another woman. Tholasiamah was left high and dry, forcing her to reluctantly surrender one of her children for adoption. She single-handedly raised her three remaining children, taking on housekeeping engagements at affluent households tomake ends meet. Unfortunately, one of her children met with a fatal accident on his first day of work. Her two other children married spouses of different religious beliefs and had no room in their lives for their ageing mother. The estranged Tholasiamah ended up seeking shelter in a rented residence, leading a solitary yet self-sufficient life as she was capable of earning a living by herself. By 2002, her underlyingconditionsof asthmaandhypertension had taken a toll on her health, compounded by chronic pain in her legs, rendering her unfit to work and depriving her of her source of income. On her way home one day in June that same year, she was robbed of her identification card and other valuable possessions, including the only gold chain and earrings she owned. Bereft of her belongings, she passed by the Tzu Chi Malacca office and chanced upon a Tzu Chi staff member, who immediately brought her to the police station to lodge a report and sent her home afterwards – marking the beginning of her acquaintance with Tzu Chi. Home is where the heart is During their first visit to Tholasiamah’s home, the volunteers found themselves stepping into a dingy dwelling that resembled an attic – a small and stuffy space that leaked whenever it rained. The house lacked a toilet and even water supply; Tholasiamah resorted to using the lavatory in either her landlord’s house or the neighbourhood shops, while water was sourced externally through a pipe. The volunteers commiserated with her deplorable living conditions and started extending care to her, besides providing her with a living subsidy. Tholasiamah rarely smiled andoftenvoiced her grouses towards her family to the volunteers, who tried their best to counsel her and suggested that she relocate to a more conducive living environment. The volunteers also advised her to seek treatment at the hospital for her aching legs, but she hesitated, citing her own concerns: “I’m now still able to fend for myself, but if I have to undergo surgery, who is going to look after me while I recuperate? Who should I depend on for care if I were to be bedridden?” She adamantly refused the volunteers’ suggestion to check herself into a nursing home that provides her with access to better care. Although Tholasiamah’s modest abode appeared far from ideal, she relied on the humble space for refuge – a familiar place to call home. Furthermore, her daughter lives only a stone’s throw away. Comforting a discontented soul Tholasiamahhadonce airedher grievances against her children to the volunteers, lamenting that her children only offered assistance when requested and had neither taken any initiative to care for her nor spared the time to bring her for walks or gather for family meals; she felt utterly neglected by her children. Her daughter would only visit her to ask for favours, making