The World Of Tzu Chi(Vol.112)

TZU CHI 112 47 Cai-yun is pictured here accompanying 96-year-old Grandma Wu on a leisurely stroll. her own daughter. Conflicts are inevitable, but we have always managed to resolve them and restore peace,” said Cai-yun of her and her mother-in- law’s approach to maintaining amicable relations. In the past decade, however, Cai-yun’s mother-in-law began to exhibit signs of dementia, with the most telling being mood swings and delusional thoughts. The nonagenarian has been experiencing emotional fluctuations, causing her to be easily agitated whenever she has misplaced her belongings, or even suspect Cai-yun of stealing them, owing to her declining memory. Cai-yun was initially troubled by her mother- in-law’s eccentricities but upon reflection, she was reminded of her obligation to provide more attentive care to the senior, when she has proven her ability in caring for her elderly care recipients. From then on, Cai-yun has learnt to reach a compromise with her mother-in-law and refrain from retaliating. Rather, she would make a conscious effort to mediate their differences in opinion with empathy, tolerance, patience and a positive outlook. Witnessing her mother-in-law’s ageing woes has nurtured in her a greater sensitivity to the emotional changes experienced by the elderly in the ageing process, as well as the sense of helplessness they feel when faced with impending death. “My mother-in-law’s condition deteriorated as rapidly as it is irreversible; delaying its progress is unlikely. My care-giving duties towards the solitary seniors are a short-term commitment, but caring for my mother-in-law is a round-the-clock responsibility,” Cai-yun surmised. Her mother- in-law has to be accompanied by family members at all times, granting her and her husband the opportunity to shower her with affection, for which she is grateful. Adaptability is key in meeting the needs of the elderly. Cai-yun once employed a part-time caregiver to attend to her mother-in-law, but this had inadvertently caused the senior to gradually lose her self-sufficient sensibilities. This pitfall compelled Cai-yun to guide her mother-in-law towards regaining her independence, starting with feeding herself. “Growing old is an inevitable rite of passage in life. Most, if not all, of us would have an elderly family member living in our midst. We should pay more attention to their needs,” Cai-yun advised. As Cai-yun herself crosses the threshold of old age and becomes vulnerable to various ailments, she cherishes every opportunity to serve in Tzu Chi to the best of her ability. Volunteering in elderly care has cultivated in her a deeper sense of empathy towards senior citizens. Her interactions with the elderly have also proved that ageing family members are not necessarily a household burden. The breadth of life is not measured by the number of years lived or a ripe old age, but the magnitude of growth achieved over the course of a lifetime. Old age is not to be feared, but a reminder to value our remaining time on Earth to create positive karma.