The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.109)

2019 • 04 52 N ot long after she started attending secondary school, Xiao Ying was found to be absent from class once every few days. Even if she came to school, she would stare at her teachers and classmates fiercely. Worse, she tended to use foul language. She was also very defensive. Whenever her classmates lowered their voices or whispered to each other, she would suspect that they were talking about her. She befriended some people with questionable conduct outside her school, and would join them to loiter around or go to the KTV after school. Sometimes, she did not even return home. When faced with such students, I would arrange to meet the parents, on top of communicating with the student. However, in Xiao Ying’s case, I could not find her parents, only her maternal grandmother. A secondary school girl with eight earrings, who stank of cigarette smoke, looked angry and spoke vulgar words… Her grandmother revealed that when Xiao Ying was in Primary 2, her mother decided to divorce her husband after suffering from domestic violence for close to ten years. As decided by the court, Xiao Ying and her brother, who was two years older, were placed in the custody of their mother. However, their mother remarried two years after the divorce. As the siblings were reluctant to follow their mother, they stayed with their grandmother. However, on most days the siblings would be left with their youngest uncle, who is only some ten years older than them, because their grandmother had to go to their eldest uncle’s place to help take care of her other grandchildren. When we met, their grandmother said she was confused as to why the siblings, despite growing up in the same environment, behaved differently; the brother was rather well-behaved but Xiao Ying was more rebellious and disobedient. I explained to her that Xiao Ying was cleverer, so she tended to think more, complain more and keep things locked in her heart. The brother on the other hand, was simpler in nature and tended to go with the flow. Their characters were greatly different. One day, XiaoYing came to school with eight ear piercings – four on the left and four on the right – and she stank of cigarette smoke. When I requested to see her, she presumed that I would reproach her, like what other teachers did. So, she came with a defensive frame of mind and acted as if she did not care and was ready to get my scolding. Translated by Yi Qin olistic Education From Feeling No Love to Feeling Loved There is not much difference between receiving 99 and 100 percent of love; but between 0 and 1 percent, it is significant – from “feeling no love” to “feeling loved”.