The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.108)

TZU CHI 108 19 Quee Ling and Hong Loke have been married for over 20 years now. Quee Ling revealed that Hong Loke rarely loses his temper; she is the one constantly throwing tantrums, while Hong Loke would give in to her every time. She recounted the only occasion when Hong Loke ran out of patience and snapped at her in exasperation: “I am tired of tolerating that foul temper of yours. Life with you has been an uphill struggle. This is not how a married couple should treat each other.” Quee Ling was abruptly stunned into silence by Hong Loke’s outburst, but it led her to contemplate the social etiquette in interpersonal relations she learnt through her interactions with the Tzu Chi community. She came to realize that the key to maintaining a happy family lies in fostering harmony. Although she was taken aback by her husband’s frustration at her, she promptly reflected on her own attitude by assessing whether her speech and actions were really unreasonable all along. At the spur of the moment, Quee Ling chose to not further provoke her husband, and sincerely apologized to him instead, calming a brewing storm. If it were in the past, she would have blown her top off and continued throwing a fit to the extent of damaging family ties, or even walking out on the family. She was thankful for her mother’s constant reminders of the benefits of the “Four-Magic Soup” – the “ingredients” of which are contentment, gratitude, understanding and tolerance – which guided her to be empathetic and tolerant. Quee Ling’s transformation moved Hong Loke deeply, inspiring him to sign up as a Tzu Chi volunteer of his own free will in 2015. In 2018, he was certified as a Tzu Cheng Faith Corps member. He is very grateful for Master Cheng Yen’s teachings, which played a significant role in his wife’s change in attitude, restoring harmonious relations in the family. He tunes in to Da Ai TV daily to listen to the Master’s Dharma talk, from which he learnt that the world is in a dire state, as the balance between the Four Great Elements (Earth, Water, Fire, Wind) has been disrupted. From then on, he has committed himself to the practice of vegetarianism and recycling in everyday life. Upon learning that Hong Loke had decided to go vegetarian, Quee Ling was pleasantly surprised as despite having embraced vegetarianism for many years, she had been unable to influence Hong Loke to do so willingly. Now, not only did Hong Loke manage to curb his gluttony, he also readily committed himself to be one of the Master’s first generation of disciples. Quee Ling was delighted and touched to have Hong Loke walk hand in hand with her on the Bodhisattva Path. “Now, my husband and I share common conversation topics that revolve around our involvement in Tzu Chi. I am in the charity division, while he is in the medical division. Our roles are different, so usually we would share with each other our experiences and stories that have touched our hearts. Our relationship is definitely stronger than before.” Quee Ling’s beaming smile is testament to the contentment she feels for having a blissful family. After all she has been through, she is grateful that her experiences have taught her that the recipe for a harmonious and happy family turns out to be as simple as keeping the “Four-Magic Soup” in mind, and to give without expecting anything in return. A Fulfilling Life Starts with a Harmonious Home