The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.108)

2019 • 03 08 eature Loke Teik Lee (far right), Gan Quee Goon (far left) and their children at a sharing session on vegetarianism. [Photograph by Lee Boon Kian] However, Teik Lee’s family was not as happy as they appeared to be. Having lacked fatherly love since young, Teik Lee was determined to shower plenty of affection on his children. To him, this meant not only providing them material comfort, but also ensuring they excel academically. Teik Lee has always believed that having a certificate is the key to a bright future. Therefore, during the exam season, he would anxiously supervise his children to ensure they did their revision. He also made it a point to personally collect their results from their school. If they performed well, he would be delighted; if they failed to make it into the top ten, he would be worried. On the other hand, Quee Goon felt strained whenever her husband fretted over their children’s academic performance. She was concerned that their children would break under the pressure from Teik Lee’s strict monitoring and high expectations. “I became worried whenever I read news of children committing suicide due to excessive academic pressure. That’s why I constantly fought with Teik Lee over our different approaches to our children’s results. I sympathized with the children for having to study seven days a week, while he insisted that this was the ideal way to show love for our children, and that it was for their own good,” said Quee Goon. As the children grew older, the arguments between Teik Lee and Quee Goon over this matter intensified. Initiating change, one step at a time As for Quee Goon, she adopted the “do as I say” approach to educating her children. She believed that she was simply guiding them towards doing what is right, instead of pushing them too hard. Sok Chu observed that both Teik Lee and Quee Goon wanted only the best for their children, but their methods of upbringing left room for improvement. She patiently explained to Quee Goon that she needed to instil character-building values in her children from a tender age, as these positive values will benefit them for life. She encouraged Quee Goon to sign up for Tzu Chi’s Parent-child Bonding Class (PCBC) with her children. Sok Chu not only hoped that Tzu Chi- based learning would serve her grandchildren well, but also that her daughter and son-in-law would venture beyond the classes and actively partake in Tzu Chi’s activities. In 2014, Quee Goon enrolled her daughter in the PCBC, and requested that Teik Lee accompany their daughter to the classes. The following year, Quee Goon herself joined the classes with her son. Arguments between Teik Lee and Quee Goon became less frequent as the whole family learnt useful lessons from the classes. During a Volunteers’ Development