The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.106)

TZU CHI 106 23 Self-care practices – do it Professor Lai’s way • For one at age 75, I consider myself reasonably healthy. I like swimming because it is not too physically demanding for an exercise, and it can be carried out individually according to the swimmer’s capability. • I also carry on with my writing, training medical students and seeing patients. Feedbacks from my students and patients give me a sense of achievement and satisfaction. I believe that “to feel useful and contributing” is the best medicine for overcoming the fear of aging. Narrated by Lai Chi-Wan Compiled by Li Wei Huang Translated by Goh Hwe Yong asked Professor Lai, who was left in awe with such a cool reaction. In order to live long and live it well, one should not merely worry over the number of years one could live, nor should one assume that “I will be worse tomorrow.” Otherwise, the longer one lives, the less happy one would be. Professor Lai described life as a process of give and take, and so if one was to live long, one needed to accept the price that came with aging. In the process of aging, one’s ability, whether physical or intellectual, would decline. A person could either choose to age pessimistically, or to continue on the journey of discovery of life despite the many accompanying challenges. Professor Lai lost his mother to cancer in 1992. He was feeling very low after returning to the US. An over 80-year-old patient, when knew of his loss, said sincerely to him, “As long as one lives to an old age, there is sure to be some beloved ones who would leave before him/her. So, you should be tough enough to take the blow. Otherwise, you won’t be able to enjoy life in old age.” Professor Lai took his parents for a pointer on gracious aging. He recalled that right up to the last moments of their lives, they were very satisfied with what they had. Such positive attitude became an example that greatly encouraged him and his siblings. In the first half of 2018, Professor Lai fell ill, and felt a physical decline in strength. But he chose to believe that today was better than the day before, this week was better than the week before. He knew for sure that the mindset could be younger than the physical body. Professor Lai said that it is not necessary to worry over death, but one can be mentally prepared for death. He had gone to the US two years ago to talk to his two sons about his will, in the presence of a lawyer. The main point of the discussion was not about the inheritance of his legal assets, but about how he would want to be treated in his final moments. “I felt relieved after the discussion, and was well at ease. Hence, when I was hospitalized this time, I told them there was no need to rush back, ‘I am OK!’” Age of Longevity: How Would You Like to Grow Old?