The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.106)

TZU CHI 106 21 D r Lai Chi-Wan has donned the white robe for 49 years from the day he became a houseman. For almost half a century, he has given medical care for countless elderly patients. He himself is an elderly now, at the age of 75. Yet, when he talked about aging, he seldom touched on himself. Instead, he would always talk about what he had learnt about aging from his father and other elderly patients. Twenty years ago, he resigned from the post of Professor in the Department of Neurology of the School of Medicine, University of Kansas. He did so to return to Taiwan to assume the respective posts of Vice Superintendent of Hualien Tzu Chi Hospital, and the Dean of its College of Medicine. The reasons for his decision were mainly because he wanted to be with his father, then aged 91, and to incorporate humanistic values into medical education in Taiwan, as well as, medical care system, particularly in the doctor-patient relationship. It was a huge decision to make, and knowing his son’s main reason for returning home, the father wanted him to think thoroughly since he was unsure of how many more years he could live on. The telephone conversation between father and son turned emotional, and Professor Lai felt all the more necessary to return to Taiwan to avoid any regrets later. He had spent ten beautiful and memorable years with his father, before the latter’s demise at the ripe old age of 101. He recalled that his father had always been positive with whatever life situation that came by; he always kept fond memories of his life and always felt grateful. To Professor Lai, positive personality as an outstanding characteristic had contributed to the longevity of his father; another factor being that his father had always tried to derive sweetness from bitterness – a wise way to live life. During those years, Professor Lai used to help dress his father after a bath. Many a time, he needed to straighten the loose underpants because it was crumpled. It was at such instances that father and son felt close. The father told the son that such was the happiest and most relaxed moment he ever felt. Professor Lai felt so elated every time his father said so. His father had always been proud to be on his own, yet he had no choice but to let his grown-up children help him to take baths. As a food lover, he was forced to use a feeding tube as desired by his adult children out of good wishes to maintain his health. His quality of life in the final stage of life was not as good, but he had tried his best to do as his children wished out of good intention. Watching how his father aged was a lesson to Professor Lai on the aging process that all would be going through. The untold pain and helplessness he had felt for his father while taking care of his daily routines made him realize deeply that one needed to learn to accept the unacceptable in order to be happy on the path to aging. His view on aging is that there will be joys and challenges as one ages, depending on whether one can face and accept aging, and the way one copes with aging. In other words, it is the mentality that counts. Aging starts right after birth and there is no escape from it for anyone. However, the Age of Longevity: How Would You Like to Grow Old?