The world of Tzu Chi (Vol.106)

TZU CHI 106 13 Hardship is the nourishment of life M y youngest daughter, Su Mei, described me as someone who always put on a serious face, and never uttered anything about “love”; and this, affected her a lot. Even when her children were all grown up, got married and have their own children, even knowing that her children were eager for affirmation and praises, she took it for granted that those approvals were unnecessary, and rarely say “I love you”. Her words made me think deeply. After my husband, Chao Qun’s demise when I was 34, I had nowhere to go to whenever I was faced with unpleasant situations, except to go to his grave and cry. Chao Qun had fostered good relationships with many. So, during my most difficult time, many came to offer help. I told myself that I have to raise the children, so I cannot be sad, and I have to take up the responsibility courageously. I also taught my children to be strong- willed and not to simply accept things from others. Inadvertently, “always put on a serious face” was the way I armed myself. The hardship of life took away my smiles. Being a mother and father, I often played the role of a strict father, rarely the loving mother. My love for them and wanting the best out of them turned me into a very uncompromising parent. I regretted it. Had I been too strict? I used to have very bad temper. If my daughters-in-law went against my will, I would keep a straight face and be domineering until she apologized. Master Cheng Yen taught us, “If we are temperamental and speak harshly, then we are yet to be considered decent people even though we do have kind intentions.” Although I have good intentions, my words hurt people, and that attracts bad karma! I am now a hundred years old. Recalling the 26 years working as a midwife, each delivery brought joy. The cute looking new-borns made me happy and boosted my confidence. It also made me see life from a different perspective. Some had so many kids but could not afford to raise them. Some longed for a child but did not get one. Many things in life cannot be forced. Take up each responsibility with courage. As a person’s heart softens, each of the past tribulations will be transformed into nourishments of life. It was very sad for me to have lost Chao Qun. Talking about it now still makes me cry. I survived the hardships of raising the children myself. I truly feel that being a midwife is a very meaningful career. It is inevitable that there is a lot of hard work, but fortunately, I can still serve society after retirement, doing what I really wanted to do. I do feel that I have walked through a very valuable life. Age of Longevity: How Would You Like to Grow Old?