The world of Tzu Chi December 2020(Vol.129)

eature Awoman from a poor family and her husband did not own much. Due to poverty, they could not afford to throw things away. So, the woman divided her late husband’s belongings into things that were either useful or not. Things that were useful were kept. Things that were not useful were divided further into two categories—with and without sentimental value. Those that were not useful and served no sentimental value were discarded. Fong Yee Leong fully agreed with this approach. “Not useful does not mean it has no value. For example, a letter from someone will not be of use but may still have value. Things that are not useful can be of value or not, is a grey area. The person involved is to decide.” Some say belongings of the deceased invoke a deep feeling and nostalgia, thereby placing one in anguish. Yee Leong said, “Can you keep them in a hidden place? Or else, I’m afraid you may regret later. When you decide that you won’t regret their absence, you can then discard them. I would suggest you to keep the clothing in a box. This serves like a ritual, similar to sorting out your grief. One day, when you recall the departed, there are still things that can bring back fond memories, such as their voices.” This lady had kept her late husband’s hospital record card. It was a reminder of her husband’s voice. When she sent her husband to the hospital, while parking, he would anxiously and repeatedly ask, “Where is the card?” She would then hand it to him to relieve his anxiety. When they arrived home, her husband would often say, “Keep the card properly and thanks for accompanying me to the doctor.” The card “stored” the anxious but grateful voice of her husband, full of their fond memories together. Yee Leong shared, “Some people’s grief is too much for them to bear. I have accompanied many bereaved families, they made over the room quickly and discarded all belongings of the departed. After a year, they were depressed. Why? There was no item that they could reconnect the memory with the departed. People need some connections.” Translated by Yew Siew Yong Handling keepsakes with wisdom Source: Fong Yee Leong 2020 • 12 28